Toyota Recall

Toyota Recall

Toyota announced October 21 that it is recalling 6.5 million vehicles to fix a power window switch that may create a potential fire hazard. Given that ISIS jihadists prefer Toyotas, one can only imagine the problems the budding caliphate faces in the Middle East:

Achmed: “Youseff, have you completed the tasks I gave you?”

Youseff: “I was going to but my Highlander got recalled, and the dealership says it will be in the shop for two weeks!”

Achmed: “Two weeks! The ruins of Palmyra can’t wait two weeks to be destroyed! And you are already way behind on kidnappings for the month.”

Youseff: “I know, I know. But the power window defect creates a fire hazard, and remember what you said at our daily safety meetings before we rig up for jihad.

Achmed. “That’s right. Safety first.”

Youseff: “And besides, without power windows I might mistake an American for a Frenchman. The perfume the French wear always gives them away, especially the men. If the window is stuck I won’t be able to tell. Americans don’t pay ransom, you know.   Remember last time we had to feed the American for months and all we got out of it was a drone strike?’

Achmed: “I know, my Sequoia is having trouble with the rear window too. But when I took it to the dealership, the dealer denied having ever sold it to me, or to any other ISIS jihadist!”

Youseff: “And we bought 18,000 Toyota pickups just two years ago! You just can’t trust your car dealer.”

Achmed: “No kidding. That was a real bait and switch when Toyota branded that minivan the ‘ISIS’. I won’t fall for that again.”

Youseff: “But on the Palmyra ruins thing — I don’t get it. If they are ruins already, doesn’t that mean they are already in pretty bad shape? I mean, how do I know when I have destroyed a ‘ruin’?”

Achmed: “Enough with these excuses! How am I supposed to run a caliphate without power windows?”

Youseff: “It’s a CIA/Mossad conspiracy. They implanted malware to make the power windows get stuck –another ‘Stucksnet’ virus.”

Achmed: “As the Iranians say, the more the centrifuge spins, the more it stays the same.”


© 2015 Clark Stith

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